I'm always astonished at the variety of things you can buy in pink during the month of October. Breast cancer awareness month seems to have taken over the month known for its fall foliage. Rather than seeing colors of vibrant orange and red we instead see the color pink in everything from pots and pans, mops, ribbons on footballs jerseys, and even trash cans. The marketing campaign for breast cancer awareness is obviously a successful one. Kuddos to them! They have done an incredible job at overcoming their own stigma of folks not wanting to talk about breast cancer because it was considered taboo. At one point, it was the biggest cancer killer among women. They have since decreased that. Thanks to the millions ( I actually think it's BILLIONS at this point)of dollars spent on this campaign more women (and men) survive this disease than ever before. How amazing is that? The Susan G. Koman Foundation started as a grassroots organization. It was simple and they did what they could to get the word out. Over 25 years they have become the number #1 cancer non-profit and are considered one of the most successful grassroots organization EVER. That's inspiring!
The Susan G. Koman Foundation gives hope to other cancer non-profits that IT IS possible to to make a difference. The downside for many cancer non-profits though is that breast cancer has many things that we don't have or that we haven't quite figured out yet. The breast cancer marketing campaign (and yes it is marketing campaign) has become successful because they have created unity among women and FOR women. They have made "touching your TA-TAS" an acceptable term to talk about around the dinner the table. They have given women the OK to talk about their breasts and their bodies. They have given men a way to support the women they love. Breasts are the ultimate symbol of womanhood. Even if you don't know anyone with breast cancer, you more than likely support the cause. This is a huge bonus to the breast cancer campaign because they can unite people on several different levels. Other cancers struggle to get that same versatility.
What unites lung cancer? Unfortunately society unites smokers to the lung cancer and then stigmatizes them for "their choices" that cause the disease. We need to change that.
Lung cancer has now taken the the place of breast cancer as the #1 cancer killer among women. Lung cancer is the #1 cancer killer in the United States and yet you rarely hear about it. Why? Because of a lack of federal funds. Because we lack a successful marketing campaign. Because we have a stigma to overcome. Because we lack unity.
Another downside for cancer non-profits is that the breast cancer campaign is SO successful that it creates the illusion that EVERYONE has breast cancer. I have spoken with local laboratories about donating money to just lung cancer research. Each one I spoke with has to explained to me that a person cannot allocate funds to a specific cancer, unless of course it's for breast cancer. "That's what people want" one woman told me. Is it? When everything is made in the color pink during the month of October its hard NOT to support the breast cancer campaign. So are people actually supporting the cause or do people just want pink products? I think its a little of both.
When sharing our ideas for NELCP we have actually had people say to us "I don't think the breast cancer campaign is going to let you do that." I am astonished that people seem to think that just because their marketing has established a pink product in every realm of our lives that we now have this illusion that they somehow control our lives too.
I don't want this blog to come across as if I do not support breast cancer. I do. I know several survivors of the disease and I find the breast cancer campaign to be inspiring. However, I think it's important for people to see through the hue of pink and understand that like all marketing campaigns; it creates an illusion that is often elaborated to sell a product and to make money.
Know the facts. Lung cancer kills more women than breast cancer. More women die of lung cancer than they do of breast cancer. Women of ALL AGES get lung cancer, even children. Smoking is not the only cause of lung cancer. In fact, in many cases it acts as a co-factor rather than a cause. Lung cancer lacks research. It lacks federal funding. It lacks awareness. It needs your support.
November is lung cancer awareness month. In the future I hope to see all of the pink products and the pink ribbons eventually fade to white.
New England Lung Cancer Project
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Monday, July 18, 2011
Life's statistics
In the midst of helping a friend take care of her lawn while she had relocated halfway across the country I spent some time talking with her next door neighbor; an older man in his mid 70's. He reminded me of an older version of my father with his white hair riding around on his tractor. He was a friendly man, his piercing blue eyes twinkled as he talked about his past and he was more than willing to start up a conversation with a complete stranger. He wore a straw hat and a pair of black pants that were being held up by rainbow suspenders that covered his bare chest. The rainbow suspenders didn't fit his masculine, Vermont farmer persona. The suspenders and his blue eyes seemed to be the only difference between this older man and the younger version of my father I remembered before he passed.
We talked about many things as he helped me pick up the lawn and later helped me mow with his riding tractor. A gesture my father would have also done. We talked about his days in the Navy and his love for that branch of service. We talked about his time as a "young boy" referring to his 30s when he spent some time in northern Maine doing odd jobs for employment. We discussed my one year old son who was trying desperately to be a part of the adult conversation and we discussed the health of his wife.
His wife had COPD (Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease). He explained that she had quit smoking decades ago but "it eventually caught up to her." I could see the sadness in his face when he told me that she had to be hooked up to an oxygen tank all the time. She was bound to the house. "She isn't able to do anything except to sit there" he said shaking his head with disappointment. He had obviously been an active man his whole life by the stories he had just told me. I made the assumption that his wife had been the same way. We spoke briefly about how both of my parents died of lung cancer and they too had quit smoking many years prior. I told him that even though COPD had "caught up" to his wife she was probably able to handle the disease better than she would have if she had never quit smoking.
At that moment his face lit up. "I quit smoking 29 years ago yesterday" he said smiling with his head held high. "Congratulations! I said surprised that he was still keeping track of the exact day that he quit smoking.
As I said my goodbyes to the older gentlemen it dawned on me how significant it had been for this man to give up smoking during his lifetime. He had been married almost 50 years, he had been retired for 16, he was in the Navy for 3, he had 4 children and he had quit smoking 29 years ago...
As a society we need to start acknowledging that smoking is an addiction and that overcoming an addiction is not easy. I think too often we tend to preach to smokers' about their risks and the ill effects on their body and in the process we lose sight of the fact that what they really need is our support. I have yet to meet a smoker that has been uneducated about the health risks of smoking. How can you be in this day and age? Other factors take play; smoking becomes a habit, it's enjoyable for most, it's a stress reliever, it forms social connections you wouldn't have otherwise and most importantly it's addictive.
We need to change our focus if we are going to help people quit smoking. Tips to remember:
Ways in which you can help:
We talked about many things as he helped me pick up the lawn and later helped me mow with his riding tractor. A gesture my father would have also done. We talked about his days in the Navy and his love for that branch of service. We talked about his time as a "young boy" referring to his 30s when he spent some time in northern Maine doing odd jobs for employment. We discussed my one year old son who was trying desperately to be a part of the adult conversation and we discussed the health of his wife.
His wife had COPD (Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease). He explained that she had quit smoking decades ago but "it eventually caught up to her." I could see the sadness in his face when he told me that she had to be hooked up to an oxygen tank all the time. She was bound to the house. "She isn't able to do anything except to sit there" he said shaking his head with disappointment. He had obviously been an active man his whole life by the stories he had just told me. I made the assumption that his wife had been the same way. We spoke briefly about how both of my parents died of lung cancer and they too had quit smoking many years prior. I told him that even though COPD had "caught up" to his wife she was probably able to handle the disease better than she would have if she had never quit smoking.
At that moment his face lit up. "I quit smoking 29 years ago yesterday" he said smiling with his head held high. "Congratulations! I said surprised that he was still keeping track of the exact day that he quit smoking.
As I said my goodbyes to the older gentlemen it dawned on me how significant it had been for this man to give up smoking during his lifetime. He had been married almost 50 years, he had been retired for 16, he was in the Navy for 3, he had 4 children and he had quit smoking 29 years ago...
As a society we need to start acknowledging that smoking is an addiction and that overcoming an addiction is not easy. I think too often we tend to preach to smokers' about their risks and the ill effects on their body and in the process we lose sight of the fact that what they really need is our support. I have yet to meet a smoker that has been uneducated about the health risks of smoking. How can you be in this day and age? Other factors take play; smoking becomes a habit, it's enjoyable for most, it's a stress reliever, it forms social connections you wouldn't have otherwise and most importantly it's addictive.
We need to change our focus if we are going to help people quit smoking. Tips to remember:
- Let the smoker decide if, when and how they will quit smoking
- Acknowledge that unless they live in a bubble they are probably well aware that smoking is not good for their health.
Ways in which you can help:
- Help them identify their triggers for wanting a cigarette
- Help them form new social connections or ways to connect with their smoking friends in other ways.
- Be sympathetic to the fact that they are giving up something they enjoy.
- Help them find other ways to relax in stressful situations. Without a replacement they will most likely crave a cigarette.
- Be mindful that this is an addiction and overcoming addictions takes time, courage, and patience.
- The more times a person quits smoking the more successful they will be. Encourage them to keep trying.
Monday, July 11, 2011
If you are not part of the solution then you're part of the problem.
"Did they smoke?"
This is the response I get every. single. time. I tell people that both of my parents died of lung cancer. Every time! I take a deep breath, I compose myself and simply answer "yes, they did." For a while I was so mentally drained from the grieving process that this is the only response I could muster up. I wanted to go into a 40 minute dissertation about the facts of lung cancer but it was too exhausting.
Too exhausting? Who am I to complain about being too exhausted? Why? Because I have lost both of my parents to an illness that people refuse to acknowledge? How selfish of me. What about the people that are still suffering from this disease? If I don't speak up about it who will? I'm exhausted? Try being a patient with lung cancer.
I have a quote in the signature of my email that says "We are all responsible for any evil we could have prevented." So true. It dawned on me that if I'm not part of the solution than that means I am contributing to the problem. It's time to change that.
I speak up now. I tell people about the environmental factors that my parents were exposed to during their lifetime that also contributed to their disease. I tell them that almost 1/4 of all people with lung cancer have never smoked. I tell them that my parents quit smoking a decade before they were diagnosed. I tell them that children get lung cancer and that radon causes lung cancer too.
If you want to know what you can do to help people that have been affected with lung cancer; stop the stigma. Be that one person that responds differently. Be the one person that says "I'm so sorry" when someone says that they or a loved one has been diagnosed with lung cancer. The point is that it doesn't matter if the person smoked or not. The point is that they are suffering and no one deserves to suffer.
This is the response I get every. single. time. I tell people that both of my parents died of lung cancer. Every time! I take a deep breath, I compose myself and simply answer "yes, they did." For a while I was so mentally drained from the grieving process that this is the only response I could muster up. I wanted to go into a 40 minute dissertation about the facts of lung cancer but it was too exhausting.
Too exhausting? Who am I to complain about being too exhausted? Why? Because I have lost both of my parents to an illness that people refuse to acknowledge? How selfish of me. What about the people that are still suffering from this disease? If I don't speak up about it who will? I'm exhausted? Try being a patient with lung cancer.
I have a quote in the signature of my email that says "We are all responsible for any evil we could have prevented." So true. It dawned on me that if I'm not part of the solution than that means I am contributing to the problem. It's time to change that.
I speak up now. I tell people about the environmental factors that my parents were exposed to during their lifetime that also contributed to their disease. I tell them that almost 1/4 of all people with lung cancer have never smoked. I tell them that my parents quit smoking a decade before they were diagnosed. I tell them that children get lung cancer and that radon causes lung cancer too.
If you want to know what you can do to help people that have been affected with lung cancer; stop the stigma. Be that one person that responds differently. Be the one person that says "I'm so sorry" when someone says that they or a loved one has been diagnosed with lung cancer. The point is that it doesn't matter if the person smoked or not. The point is that they are suffering and no one deserves to suffer.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Time to do something about it
Now that I have gone through the grieving process I have learned that I need to channel my raw, emotional energy into other areas of my life and somehow make a positive impact. Laying in bed trying to find the energy to fight away the tears isn't getting me anywhere.
I have started the non-profit. I'm still waiting on official paperwork for it to be "legit" but in every other sense of the word it has been started and we continue to gain momentum.
This isn't about my parents anymore. This is about all of the lung cancer patients and their families that feel as if they do not have a voice; literally and figuratively.
Lung cancer comes with a stigma. A stigma that has created a world where we just ignored the situation at hand. We put our hands over our eyes and plug our ears and just pretend it doesn't exist. Guess what? It does exist. It exists on every street corner in this country and it exists in a BIG way. Lung cancer is the largest killer of all the major cancers! Why don't we hear about it? Because of a lack of funding. It is the least funded of all major cancers. Why? Because of the social stigma attached to the disease. As a society we view lung cancer as a smoker's disease. We shame smokers. We blame them for their illness. I personally feel as if it is a way for people to convince themselves that they are somehow invincible from getting lung cancer. It's a defense mechanism. An avoidance behavior. No one is invincible so you can keep the judgment to yourself. Anyone can get lung cancer, including children. About 1/4 of all people diagnosed with lung have never smoked a day in their life! That's concerning and it's proof that there are additional factors other than cigarettes that cause lung cancer. On the surface, we know this. Radon, Asbestos, environmental pollutants, etc all can cause or have an affect on lung cancer. True. The problem is that that is all we know. We don't have enough funding to dig deeper.
We need to change the stigma. We need to increase the funding and we need to do it fast! The survival rate for folks with lung cancer is less than 15%! That's grim. The sad part is that it has been that way for 40 years. Nothing has changed. Research hasn't changed, federal funding hasn't changed in over 40 years! Honestly people we can only look the other way for so long... it's time to take the hands off from our eyes and unplug our ears and do something about it.
I have started the non-profit. I'm still waiting on official paperwork for it to be "legit" but in every other sense of the word it has been started and we continue to gain momentum.
This isn't about my parents anymore. This is about all of the lung cancer patients and their families that feel as if they do not have a voice; literally and figuratively.
Lung cancer comes with a stigma. A stigma that has created a world where we just ignored the situation at hand. We put our hands over our eyes and plug our ears and just pretend it doesn't exist. Guess what? It does exist. It exists on every street corner in this country and it exists in a BIG way. Lung cancer is the largest killer of all the major cancers! Why don't we hear about it? Because of a lack of funding. It is the least funded of all major cancers. Why? Because of the social stigma attached to the disease. As a society we view lung cancer as a smoker's disease. We shame smokers. We blame them for their illness. I personally feel as if it is a way for people to convince themselves that they are somehow invincible from getting lung cancer. It's a defense mechanism. An avoidance behavior. No one is invincible so you can keep the judgment to yourself. Anyone can get lung cancer, including children. About 1/4 of all people diagnosed with lung have never smoked a day in their life! That's concerning and it's proof that there are additional factors other than cigarettes that cause lung cancer. On the surface, we know this. Radon, Asbestos, environmental pollutants, etc all can cause or have an affect on lung cancer. True. The problem is that that is all we know. We don't have enough funding to dig deeper.
We need to change the stigma. We need to increase the funding and we need to do it fast! The survival rate for folks with lung cancer is less than 15%! That's grim. The sad part is that it has been that way for 40 years. Nothing has changed. Research hasn't changed, federal funding hasn't changed in over 40 years! Honestly people we can only look the other way for so long... it's time to take the hands off from our eyes and unplug our ears and do something about it.
Monday, June 13, 2011
And then there was one
Any of you who know me either in real life or the virtual world know that I have lost both of my parents to lung cancer. I grew up an only child. Each of my parents had other children prior to their marriage. I refer to them as the Brady Bunch. When they got married, they combined both of their families into one. As the story goes, I seemed to have appeared out of nowhere in the middle of a family with four brothers and one sister. The age differences ranged from 8-18 years older than myself. My mother was 36 when I was born. She was told she could never have children of her own. She had happily adopted two children several years prior to my arrival. When she got pregnant her doctor warned her that she was too old (this was in 1976) and that either she or I or both of us would die during delivery. She informed me how anxious she was during the entire pregnancy. My father came to the marriage with four boys. Just when he thought he was almost done with childrearing; I came along! He turned 40 six weeks after I was born.
My siblings grew up and moved away when I was very young. I had a very close relationship with both of my parents. Each of them special to me in their own way. I talked to them about everything. We spoke often. If I wasn't at their house visiting; I was usually on the phone with one of them telling them about my day.
At 23 my father died of lung cancer in my last semester of my bachelors degree in community health. He was diagnosed at 60 and died three years later at the age of 63. As traumatic as it was to lose my dad it did provide an opportunity for me to become closer with my mom. I had always been "daddy's little girl" and tended to gravitate to him first for advice and conversation. The relationship I had with my mom was a good one but it got a lot better after my father had passed. It gave us time to develop a friendship and it gave me an opportunity to get to know my mother on a more personal level. I was able to see her as a friend and a woman, not just my mother. I believe that she viewed me in the same light.
At 31 I lost my mother unexpectedly from lung cancer. She was a healthy and seemed happy one day and the next day she was exhausted. After 9 days of extensive testing they determined that she had a very aggressive form of lung cancer. "One of the most aggressive forms I have ever seen" according to her Oncologist. My mother died 2 days after she was diagnosed with the disease.
With my fathers death I felt as if I had time to prepare. I had time to give myself a pep talk. I had time to figure out what I believed in. Was he going to Heaven? Did I believe in Heaven? What would happen to me and my mom after he died? I imagined life without him on several occasions as a way to prepare myself but also as a way to keep myself living in the present moment. I savored every moment I had with him knowing that it may be my last. That may have been part of the reason why I felt closer to my father when he was alive. Ever since I was a young child I had feared my father's death.
My mother's death was a lot harder for me for several reasons. One reason is that I was blindsided by it. I had no time to prepare for anything. I felt like the rug just came out from underneath me and I was free falling for a good two years after she passed. She was also the last parent to go which I think is always hard regardless of age.
Both of my parents are now gone. I mourned my mother and then I feel like I mourned my father all over again after she died. I felt like I was left with nothing. The two most important people in my life were gone. Who would call when I had a problem that I needed advice on? Who would come help me if I needed help or if I needed money or if I needed to move back home for some reason? Jesus I don't even have a "back home" anymore. I sold it! Completely and totally LOST is how I felt for a good solid two years. While I tried to figure out who I was and where I was going I detached from a lot of people, from life in general. Life became difficult. Just getting up in the morning was difficult. I still needed to muster up enough energy to close my mom's estate. All the paperwork and conversations with bill collectors and lawyers. It was all too much. I gave my husband permission to speak on my behalf so that on the days I was overwhelmed I could just shut the door behind me and let him deal with it. Luckily he was more than willing to help.
In the midst of my chaotic free fall, I cut people out of my life. I didn't have the energy for the petty drama that came along with several of the friendships I had made in years prior. I quit my job. I got pregnant. I finished my graduate degree and I got depressed. I got really depressed.
...But I figured it out. I still have my days. I probably always will to some extent. However I realize now that this isn't the worst possible thing that could happen in a person's life. It sure felt like it at the time but life happens. I had that philosophy even as everything was happening but it took me a long time for me to fully accept that and say that to myself without turning into a bucket of tears. I have come to appreciate the cycle of life and all that goes with it. I found the beauty in it all and to some extent I have come up with my own rationale and belief system of life and death.
...And then there was one. I have never felt more powerful in my entire life as I do now.
My siblings grew up and moved away when I was very young. I had a very close relationship with both of my parents. Each of them special to me in their own way. I talked to them about everything. We spoke often. If I wasn't at their house visiting; I was usually on the phone with one of them telling them about my day.
At 23 my father died of lung cancer in my last semester of my bachelors degree in community health. He was diagnosed at 60 and died three years later at the age of 63. As traumatic as it was to lose my dad it did provide an opportunity for me to become closer with my mom. I had always been "daddy's little girl" and tended to gravitate to him first for advice and conversation. The relationship I had with my mom was a good one but it got a lot better after my father had passed. It gave us time to develop a friendship and it gave me an opportunity to get to know my mother on a more personal level. I was able to see her as a friend and a woman, not just my mother. I believe that she viewed me in the same light.
At 31 I lost my mother unexpectedly from lung cancer. She was a healthy and seemed happy one day and the next day she was exhausted. After 9 days of extensive testing they determined that she had a very aggressive form of lung cancer. "One of the most aggressive forms I have ever seen" according to her Oncologist. My mother died 2 days after she was diagnosed with the disease.
With my fathers death I felt as if I had time to prepare. I had time to give myself a pep talk. I had time to figure out what I believed in. Was he going to Heaven? Did I believe in Heaven? What would happen to me and my mom after he died? I imagined life without him on several occasions as a way to prepare myself but also as a way to keep myself living in the present moment. I savored every moment I had with him knowing that it may be my last. That may have been part of the reason why I felt closer to my father when he was alive. Ever since I was a young child I had feared my father's death.
My mother's death was a lot harder for me for several reasons. One reason is that I was blindsided by it. I had no time to prepare for anything. I felt like the rug just came out from underneath me and I was free falling for a good two years after she passed. She was also the last parent to go which I think is always hard regardless of age.
Both of my parents are now gone. I mourned my mother and then I feel like I mourned my father all over again after she died. I felt like I was left with nothing. The two most important people in my life were gone. Who would call when I had a problem that I needed advice on? Who would come help me if I needed help or if I needed money or if I needed to move back home for some reason? Jesus I don't even have a "back home" anymore. I sold it! Completely and totally LOST is how I felt for a good solid two years. While I tried to figure out who I was and where I was going I detached from a lot of people, from life in general. Life became difficult. Just getting up in the morning was difficult. I still needed to muster up enough energy to close my mom's estate. All the paperwork and conversations with bill collectors and lawyers. It was all too much. I gave my husband permission to speak on my behalf so that on the days I was overwhelmed I could just shut the door behind me and let him deal with it. Luckily he was more than willing to help.
In the midst of my chaotic free fall, I cut people out of my life. I didn't have the energy for the petty drama that came along with several of the friendships I had made in years prior. I quit my job. I got pregnant. I finished my graduate degree and I got depressed. I got really depressed.
...But I figured it out. I still have my days. I probably always will to some extent. However I realize now that this isn't the worst possible thing that could happen in a person's life. It sure felt like it at the time but life happens. I had that philosophy even as everything was happening but it took me a long time for me to fully accept that and say that to myself without turning into a bucket of tears. I have come to appreciate the cycle of life and all that goes with it. I found the beauty in it all and to some extent I have come up with my own rationale and belief system of life and death.
...And then there was one. I have never felt more powerful in my entire life as I do now.
It's time to start a blog
If you are living in the age of social networking it only makes sense to have a blog for your non-profit or business. Sometimes I think that we have so many ways to "connect"with one another that we actually become more disconnected as a result of too many connections. We desensitize ourselves. We get so accustomed to hearing about Mary and Joe's day that we just don't read the status updates anymore. We take for granted that at any moment we can just click on their profile and see what they are doing. The problem though is that with our 300+ friends on each page, the chance of us taking two minutes out of our busy social networking life to click on Mary or Joe's personal page is pretty slim. It was difficult enough to manage the handful of friendships I had prior to social networking but now I have to manage all of my virtual friendships and the ones I have in reality. *sigh* This can get overwhelming.
I have started accounts on Facebook, Twitter, etc. I have designed a web page and set up a work email account and for some reason all of it still seems distant to me. I have met a lot of great people through those avenues and many of them motivate me every day. However, I still remain a pretty private person. The people closest to me know who I am and how I feel about various issues but even then I usually keep it brief.
The goal of this blog is to offer a more personal feel to this organization. Why I do this, why I started this and who and what keeps me motivated. I hope it inspires you and I hope it takes you away from the typical social networking day of reading status updates. I hope it makes you think and most of all I hope it motivates you to make a change. :)
I have started accounts on Facebook, Twitter, etc. I have designed a web page and set up a work email account and for some reason all of it still seems distant to me. I have met a lot of great people through those avenues and many of them motivate me every day. However, I still remain a pretty private person. The people closest to me know who I am and how I feel about various issues but even then I usually keep it brief.
The goal of this blog is to offer a more personal feel to this organization. Why I do this, why I started this and who and what keeps me motivated. I hope it inspires you and I hope it takes you away from the typical social networking day of reading status updates. I hope it makes you think and most of all I hope it motivates you to make a change. :)
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